Is it all good?

I'm beginning to see the way out of this scary question; "what are you afraid of?". I think the source of my fear is the fact I have a preference. I prefer to keep all of my limbs and body parts. That preference, in turn, comes from my fear that without all of my body parts, I'm a lesser person, or might not exist at all.

The whole question feels gruesome to me. Like something terrible might happen by me just talking or thinking about it. This is how scared I am of this.

I feel a little stuck now. I see the question with a little more clarity but I'm not done with it. I'm a little less scared but I'm still scared.

I feel myself wanting to think my way out of this corner. And I also feel the effort and work it takes to think. It's not the easy flowing way out. So, I won't take it.

I'll set this aside for the moment.

About the "all good" thing; I think the core of it this question is "it's all good". That little phrase I used to hate. I used to think that everyone who said is just numbed out or not paying attention.

Now, I don't know what to think. The more I surrender to what comes, to what the universe brings, the more I see how it could all be good. There is no difference between a whole or a maimed body. No virtue of one over the other. Food for worms at the end for both of them.

This body is a rented vehicle. And this world is a motel. And we're just passing through. We will leave the motel and discard the rented vehicle as soon as they are not useful to us.

But when is that? I used to think I needed them for the whole ride. Now I'm not sure any more. I feel how confining it is to think the car and the motel is all there is. They have become home. But they're not. They are things I'm supposed to use and leave behind.

Maybe I'd rather walk than drive, and sleep in the sun or under a tree than in a motel room. Not sure where this metaphor is going any more.